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Dear Dr. Argo,
I’m worried about my best friend. She hardly ever eats anything, and she’s losing a lot of weight. All she talks about anymore is how many calories and fat grams are in different kinds of food. She even put together a spreadsheet to monitor her calories and freaks out if she goes over her limit. Also, she’s constantly at the gym. Seriously, it’s like her second home. I think she may have an eating disorder. I want to talk to her about it, but I don’t know what to say. Can you help?

—Concerned

Dear Concerned,
First, let me say that your friend is lucky to have such a caring friend. I give you credit for wanting to figure out how to talk with her about her eating and exercise habits. Since this will probably be a difficult conversation to have, I suggest you find a time and place when the two of you will not be interrupted or distracted. Then, communicate your concerns as specifically as possible. Point out a few behavioral instances that have contributed to your concern for your friend’s health, happiness and safety. Ask your friend to consider exploring these concerns with someone at the Counseling Center or Health Center. Depending on your comfort level, you may even offer to accompany your friend on her first visit. It’s also important to make sure you don’t blame your friend for her problem. Accusatory statements like, “You’re ruining your life” or “You just need to eat” will likely put your friend on the defensive. Treat your friend with understanding, respect and sensitivity.
Keep in mind that even if you are sensitive and respectful, your friend may not respond positively to your concern. She may deny that there is a problem or even become angry. If this happens try not to push the issue. Simply restate your concerns and let your friend know that you will be there for her should she decide to get help. As much as you want to help your friend, it is important that you not try to take on too much. You may want to get some support for yourself by talking with a friend, family member or even a counselor.
In addition to talking with your friend, you can also work to promote a more size-accepting environment.
Choose to challenge the belief that thinness and weight loss are great, while body fat and weight gain are horrible or indicate laziness, worthlessness or immorality.
Be a model of healthy body esteem. Remember that others pay attention to and learn from the way you talk about yourself and your body. Choose to talk about yourself with respect and appreciation.
Become a critical viewer of the media. Talk back to the TV when you hear a message or see an image that promotes an unrealistically thin ideal. Stop purchasing magazines that promote thinness at all costs.
Again, I appreciate your willingness to tackle this difficult issue with your friend. I wish you well.

—Dr. Argo

If you have questions for Dr. Argo, drop them in his mailbox just inside

the Commons main entrance or e-mail them to counctr@uwf.edu.

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